Telling the girls

We sat aroound the table - as usual. Rare for some families but every night my girls and I sit around the dining room table (yes every night in the dining room) and talk. My dining room is not the forbidden room but the place to gather and share. Surrounded by candlelight we eat every night. We all take a deep breath and just talk.

I decided, with all that is going on, it was time to tell them. I knew this time would eventually come. I did not expect so soon but my mind has slowly become saturated with my journey toward the operating room which is less than 2 months away.

So, I decided tonight was as good of a night as any. The conference I went to this past weekend there was much discussion surrounding family information sharing and best methods. The key was that I needed to keep an open dialogue with them. My girls and I are all close with no secrets between us. My oldest tells me about the boys she like, she girls she doesn't and well...how she is developing. Hard to hear but glad I am the mom that she feel comfortable with sharing her stories and feelings with.
The conversation went surprisingly smooth...two of my girls, 9 and 7 took it in stride..though I am sure they did not fully digest the severity of the situation. I kept the gore and the details to as much of a minimum as I could. I would need help. I would be in some pain but in the end I would be okay. My reasoning was simple. I could get cancer. I did not want cancer. I did not want to get sick with cancer. I wanted to always be there for them. That is why I needed to do this. I was doing it for them.


My 12 year old sat there - quiet. I am not sure how she took it but hugged me and I reassured her I was there to answer any questions she might have - now or later.

In a weird but good way they digested and paralleled this experience to when I busted up my ribs REALLY bad a few years ago. Unable to breathe, walk, exist really.
So fair enough. It was a good comparison.

As many who have gone before me and those who will have this journey to travel behind me our kids are the heaviest weight we bear. We try to shelter them. My original plan was not to tell them until they were 18 (or there about)...but Eva's situation has broken any silence wide open.



I do not want them to hate their bodies; their developing bodies at that. I hope now, with a new plan I can at least deliver information and support so that the boogie man inside does not win...on any level. At any age.


My path , my journey hopefully will pave a road smoother than the one I have had to travelled.