Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I look for my strength through the fog

So much has happened...I left my blog to digest everything.

My goal here is not to set a prairie fire or god willing - to have a bitchfest online. In such a short amount of time I have chatted with dozens of women across the world on genetic status and their journey to discovering mental relief. It seems that most women choose surgery as the best way to deal with this "genetic destiny".

Many of you have inquired about 'Eva' Her situation has gone from bad to worse. It appears that after her losing one breast, she will after weeks of antibiotics and mental greivances, she will loose the other one. I can not focus on one bad story but as I make my decision to have the surgery, the sting of something gone so wrong is truly a mental hiccup that will take some time

I also write today knowing another BRCA 'sister' is probably just out of surgery now and I eagerly await to hear how she is doing and how her recovery will be.

My source of strength has been the new friendship of a young lady who has gone through the expander course. Her story is one that never involves the language of pain and gives those of us who are weak of heart (and stomach) the belief that FOOBS (fake bobs) can be great. I also thank all my “sisters” across the globe for sharing their pictures with me.

I can not lie, there have been tears - mostly of fear but there are days where I simply feel overwhelmed. I question my capacity to walk down a road I know I must go. I tell myself FOOBS look better than the ones I got! Perkiness after having children is always a bonus.

I know one thing for sure - I couldn't do cancer. I speak with women on a daily basis that are going through treatment. They are the truest definition of a hero.