Thursday, January 21, 2010


So yes, some days are harder than was hard. Today was the day I was fed up, done and frustrated. I was, at least, after talking with other women, expecting days like this. I accept them for what it is, and know that tomorrow is another day.

Today I just want to feel ‘normal’. I have to stay inside because going for a walk is too uncomfortable. I want to sleep through a night. I want the pain to go away long enough so I can rest. With three kids at home the floors scream sweep me, the laundry room builds up...the hardest part of recovery is the staying put.

I was, as I said, expecting days like this. What I was not expecting was the lack of support I received from certain people. Difficult times bring out the best – and the worst- of people. I expected a couple of people to write or call and yet they remain quiet. On the other side there are others who have completely surprised me and come by with food, and make the effort to call with messages of love and support. In some instances it has been difficult but I thought I would share this with you because it can surprise you to experience the ‘abandonment’ from those you least expect. At the same time it can be seen as an opportunity to evolve as a person as envelop those who do care.

I want others to benefit from my experience and hence why I started this blog. I received wise words from a fellow BRCA sister that I think sums up the attitude I now have adopted.

"Unfortunately, it can be as painful as the recovery, to see who really and truly cares and "has your back." It really made me re -evaluate the level and trust of some friendships. Some people surprise you in wonderful ways, but others are disappointments. From this process, I actually became better about not obsessing over the ones that let me down (although that is a work in progress!), and really caring that much deeper about those people who are sincerely kind and react in similar ways to how I would have for them. Hang in there, and do not let yourself be distracted by the ones who aren't there, be glad you learned.”

I knew this experience would change me, I just had no idea the extent or depth that it would.


  1. Hi Colleen, I just found your blog! I think your thoughts are great. I have yet to have any surgery,but it is in my near future. I too have been surprised at how people show or do not show they care. It is very disappointing at times, and I do take it very personal. I am really concerned about how I react to people not agreeing with my decisions once I have surgery.

    Thanks for your thoughts!
    Be Well

  2. Thank you Kim. It is surprising the loss you feel but just as surprising how quickly you move past it.

    I have complete confidence in my decision. For those who have not shown support, then I know that our friendship will more than likely to be sacrificed. Once you find that place, then anyone who questiones your decision, you can remain confident and happy in your decision. Those who stand at your side are really good friends.

    Here for you anytime for a fellow sister